easy-peasy

export DEBIAN_FRONTEND=noninteractive
export LANG=en_US.UTF-8
export LANGUAGE=en_US:en
export LC_ALL=en_US.UTF-8
#export MAKEFLAGS=-jX

case "$-" in *i*)
        alias ll='ls --group-directories-first --color=auto -alh'
        alias ls='ls --group-directories-first --color=auto'
        alias diff='colordiff'
        alias cp='cp -i'
        alias mv='mv -i'
        alias rm='rm -i'
        w
        ;;
esac

full-blown

export MAKEFLAGS=-j$((`grep ^processor /proc/cpuinfo | tail -1 | awk '{print $3}'` + 1))

case "$-" in *i*)
    alias ll='ls --group-directories-first --color=auto -alh'
    alias ls='ls --group-directories-first --color=auto'
    alias psu='ps --pid 2 --ppid 2 --deselect ufw'
    alias cp='cp -i'
    alias mv='mv -i'
    alias rm='rm -i'

    alias ps2='ps --pid 2 --ppid 2 --deselect ufww'
    alias diff='/usr/bin/colordiff'
    alias less='/usr/bin/less -r'
    #alias runq='postfix flush'
    alias runq='sendmail -q'
    alias cal='ncal -bM'

    alias clean="grep -vE '^[[:space:]]*(;|#|$)'"
    alias findexec='find . -executable -type f'
    alias lynx='lynx -accept_all_cookies'
    alias lynxg='lynx -accept_all_cookies https://www.google.com/ncr'
    alias irssi='echo did you forget to start gnu/screen or tmux?'
    alias ovs='ovs-vsctl'

    alias pwgen='pwgen --capitalize --numerals --symbols --ambiguous 1$(( $RANDOM % 10 ))'
    alias pusha='git commit -a --allow-empty-message -m "" && git push'
    alias push='git commit --allow-empty-message -m "" && git push'
    alias commita='git commit -a --allow-empty-message -m ""'
    alias commit='git commit --allow-empty-message -m ""'
    alias stat='git diff --stat --cached origin/master'

    warn="this is the host system - unalias if you are sure"
    alias shutdown="echo $warn"
    alias reboot="echo $warn"
    alias poweroff="echo $warn"
    alias halt="echo $warn"
    unset warn

    export TERM=xterm
    export EDITOR=/usr/bin/vi
    export PAGER="/usr/bin/less -r"
    export MAIL=/var/mail/$USER
    export MAILCHECK=1
    /usr/bin/biff y
    # not on a workstation
    w
    ;;
esac

# Debian/Ubuntu fixup
#export LC_ALL=en_US.UTF-8
#export LANG=en_US.UTF-8
#export LANGUAGE=en_US:en

some unused and unnecessary alternatives

    #export TERM=linux
    #export TERM=xterm-256color

    #alias wget='wget --ca-certificate=/etc/ssl/cacert.pem'
    #alias curl='curl --cacert /etc/ssl/cacert.pem'